A message to the haters

I strongly believe that everyone is good and that mean people don’t exist. “Mean” people are actually just insecure. I wrote a post a while ago about self-love where I discussed how to channel confidence and get rid of insecurity, but these things could be hard to achieve when one is surrounded by negative people.

Bullies suck and we all know this because I’m pretty sure everyone has encountered at least one in their lifetime. Bullies don’t do mean things because their hearts are made of coal and they hate everyone; they do it because they feel horrible about themselves so they need to put others down in order to make themselves feel better. Most of the things that come out of a bully’s mouth have nothing to do with how they feel about the person they’re bullying, but more to do with how the bully feels about their own self. This is why it is so important for victims of bullying to never listen to what their bullies are saying.

There is a difference between stating one’s honest opinion and being unnecessarily judgmental. I’ve found that a lot of people nowadays, including myself, are extremely quick to judge and make assumptions. Actually it isn’t even just nowadays; this has been happening throughout history and it’s what caused so many issues in society (i.e. racism, gender inequality, etc.) This is not okay. It’s not okay to stereotype, it’s not okay to judge a book by its cover, and it’s not okay to have an opinion if one doesn’t take the time to educate themselves about other perspectives. I find that there’s a huge lack of respect towards others.

One of the biggest bullying problems in today’s technology age is cyber bullying. Don’t get me wrong, I love social media and I often jump to the Internet’s defense but it can’t be denied that it makes bullying REALLY easy. As I said before, what bullies say actually has nothing to do with how they feel about the person they’re bullying. Since bullies don’t really mean what they say, it’s easier for them to be mean by hiding behind a computer screen rather than doing it face-to-face. The Internet allows bullies to be cowards.


This is why sites like ask.fm are SO wrong. For those who don’t know, ask.fm is a site where people can submit anonymous questions to each other. I’ll be honest; I made an account back when it was trendy but I deactivated it as soon as I realized just how horrible it was. Thinking back on it, I realize that I could have avoided so much unnecessary drama in my life if I hadn’t had that account. I’ve read articles about teenagers committing suicide because of the bullying they received on the site and it doesn’t even surprise me because holy crap, I’ve seen some nasty stuff written on there. Teenagers are so easily influenced by their peers and what they see in the media, which is why they often believe what cyber bullies tell them.

But this bullying doesn’t just exist on ask.fm, it can be found on many social media platforms, such as Twitter; Instagram; Facebook and Tumblr, which also has a function where users can submit anonymous comments. The Internet is such a wonderful place and it saddens me that it’s used so often in a negative way.

Screen Shot 2015-04-06 at 6.08.45 PM

Having experienced both sides of bullying (the bully side and the victim side), it’s helped me understand a lot of why bullying happens and how it can be stopped. I could tell you that the best solution is to just block everyone who bothers you on social media, “don’t let it get to you!” and surround yourself with positive people, but I don’t think that’s really going to do so much. See, bullying is a cycle:

bullying chart

The solution to bullying is confidence. It’s each of us embracing our individuality and being fearless. It’s standing your ground and fighting for what you believe in. It means we must never, ever stop loving ourselves. But we must also love others and respect each other, no matter whether you agree with that person or not. So the next time you’re about to say something mean about someone, think about why you’re saying it. And the next time you see someone being bullied, don’t be a bystander; speak up! And most importantly, the next time you’re bullied, don’t solve your issues by becoming a bully; just know that what they’re saying means nothing and have the confidence to keep being you.



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